Good Jokes Game (Credit to Matheusultimatex)

CREDIT GOES TO Matheusultimatex
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So basically the same rules as the Bad Jokes game except you have to do good jokes.

I'm the judge, not playing.
starts when 3 jokes have been posted by members, after the 3rd you have 1 day to post a new joke before it gets judged. The judgement will be posted EXACTLY 1 day after the 3rd joke.


Winner of Round 1
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-HALO72309

Round 2 winner
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-AuburnAttack21

Round 3 winner
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-AuburnAttack21

Round 4 winner
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-



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CREDIT GOES TO Matheusultimatex

What did Helen Keller name her dog?
asdfsfwerfsdfvadfdffgfdg

I hope this isn't counted as too dirty...

Code:

---

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced nine husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married nine times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

---

i'll let it stay in.

What did the Demoman use to clean his bathroom?

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7ZckZ-8naz...400/kaboom.jpg

I lol'd hard at that one

15 years ago, the world was quite different from now. Back then, small developers sold something called "shareware." The World Wide Web barely existed. People took photographs on "film." Cell phones were the size of loaves of bread. Also, dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

Domme to the accused:
- Recognizing that you stole the necklace?
- No!
- Have you stolen before?
- No, this was my first time ..


Oppz! :D

Secound
In the court:
How did your first wife die?
-She ate a poisoned mushroom.

And your secound wife then?
-She did also ate a poisoned Mushroom.

And your third wife then?
-She got struck dead.
And why did that happened?
-Because she refused to eat da mushroom.

I heard this one from my cousin, it's a good one:

14+ only
Magic frog joke

There was a guy that had a big d1ck
No woman wanted to f**k him because they had fear
He known a woman that said:
In the lake at the swamp
A frog lies on a log
But he is not a normal frog
He is a magic frog
Everytime he says no, your d1ck will get smaller, but there's no back if you regret it
*big d1cked man walks toward the swamp*
He find the frog and ask:
Frog, would you marry me?
The frog replyed:
No!

The man whispered:
Yeah, it works, i'ts getting smaller, i'm trying again:
Frog, would you marry me?
The frog again replyed:
Man, i already said no!

The man whispered again:
Just more one time and it will be good:
Frog, would you marry me?
The frog, angry as hell, said:
F**K OFF! I ALREADY SAID:
NO, NO ,NO ,NO, NO AND NO!

Moral:
Get happy you have a big ****, or you end up having nothing...
Joking, there's no moral.

You've been speaking Engrish lately.
Where are you from?

the champion of round 1 is.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


HALO72309

it was gonna be Aub but i couldnt let down Halo's total funny joke.

ROUND 2 START!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by halo72309

You've been speaking Engrish lately.
Where are you from?

---

You can see my profile there, on the beggining of my post, a little to the right.
There you can see my location.
But if you don't see, it's Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

can you do your momma jokes?

yes, yes you can.

Return of a champion!
Yes, that might be the case, but your mother is so hairy, the only language she speaks, IS WOOKIE!
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTT!

(This joke is now offically overused)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LifeUpStudios

it was gonna be Aub but i couldnt let down Halo's total funny joke.

---

Where is his joke, i don't see it...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Matheusultimatex

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LifeUpStudios

it was gonna be Aub but i couldnt let down Halo's total funny joke.

---

Where is his joke, i don't see it...

---

The spoiler on his first post here.

:blink:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
This is so funny, halo knows nice jokes :D

Yo mama so poor she can't even pay attention.

Professor teaches class on classic video games. Makes students play old games. Goes all right until they try Ultima IV. They find it to be opaque, dull, and completely unplayable. Of course, every other game thy play in that class will be boring, because anything taught is queer.

How many noobs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Well, assuming they're high level enough to even wield the lightbulb...

Aub wins round 2.
NEXT ROUND START!

A blonde hurried into the hospital emergency room late one night with the
tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?," the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor? "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
the tip of your finger?"

"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First, I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought, 'I just paid $6,000 for these; I'm not shooting myself in the
chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000 to get
my teeth straightened; I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So, then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud
noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

yo momma so old that her yearbook had god in it

Yo momma is so fat she needed a matress for her period.

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a Soviet?

None. They don't screw in the Soviet. They screw in you!

Yo mamma so fat...she's fat!
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hahahhahahha...heheheheh...
O...ha...hahaha...ha...oh...

yo mama is so stupid she put a battery up her butt and said I GOT THE POEWER!

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by spiderkid12

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".

---

I am assuming you are not blonde.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShadowHaunter

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by spiderkid12

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".

---

I am assuming you are not blonde.

---

it would be funny it she was LOL

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ucan

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ShadowHaunter

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by spiderkid12

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".

---

I am assuming you are not blonde.

---

it would be funny it she was LOL

---

spiderkid is female?

Yes.
Are you some sort of maschilist?

Nah, just surprised that there's a girl again on APH.

I used to be a blonde then my hair darkend up over the years. So tecnically yes I am a blonde with a IQ higher than 35.

You didn't need to add the last part.
I'm not sexist.

I wasnt saying you were.

K, sorry.
It was just how you said the "IQ" part.

so who won this round, because I thought my joke WAS DA BOMB lol

Wait until tomorrow for the judge to come back onlne.