Novel/Short story

So i had this schoolproject for an competition and i just want an honest opinion from some people before i start adding to it.
By the way, this was translated from swedish to english so if you find any grammar errors keep that in mind:

A Day at the Library
Now i'm here once again, St. Edwards library, New York. I always try to keep myself from going here but losing oneself in the world of books seems so much more appealing than the same rutine, sleep, get up, eat, work and then go back to sleep. Its as if there was one single person "programming" the entire world, there is nothing for me to discover, nothing for me to be surprised about. My name is Peter Wilson, 32 years of age, living in Manhattan, New York with my dog, James. If you would get to know me you would think that that i'm like all people, sitting at the breakfast table alone without a care in the world, no, i'm not one of those, i want something, i'm not "happy for what i have", i have a dream worth fighting for. I work at The Daily Metro, a place where you can find many different personalities, the boss, always buried in paperwork and holds no compassion for the people he gives orders to. The secretary, the one who has no mind of her own and calmy does as superiors say, but holds much anger inside. The doorman, a shady sociopath that barely nods at any sign of conversation. But this day was different, the kind of day you wait your whole life for - without knowing it. It was the day i found the one i've been looking for, her name was Margaret. It started with her moving into my apartment building, what downed me then was that i had no reason to go over to her and start a "love at first sight" scenario, and got kind of modest, childish i know but that was the case. The next day i had a reason, a motivation to see her, turns out she got a job at my favorite place in the world, that being St.Edwards library. I got up early to go there on saturday morning, since it is the only day off in my usually grey and boring week, when i got in i sat down with a copy of Charles ****ens "Great Expectations", it has been on of my favorite books for a long time, it makes me think if have any "Great Expectations" to look for, it makes me think faith has not forgot about me. I couldnt see Margaret anywhere, which didn't stun me because her shift probably hasnt even begun yet. A couple of minutes later i saw her walking out of the staffroom, its was refreshing to finally see her again, its really was one of those moments that seem to last for an eternity. Now you might think i appeal to her because of her beauty, taking into account that i havent i even spoken to her, or even have been within 2 feet of her vicinity but your wrong to think that, i can see it in her eyes, i only see the beauty inside, her generosity, compassion.. You know, the works. Then i snapped back to reality, when i remembered what i was here to do i started to doubt myself, two halfs of my heart were fighting, fortunately, the right one one and i decided i have to fight for my dream. I rose up from the chair and put the book back where i found it, i took a deep breath and took my first step towards a happy life, whilst i was walking to her, i couldnt think about anything else than what to say, since i didn't want to dissapoint her and destroy my one chance. When i was finally standing in front of her i modestly put my fist to my mouth and coughed to get her attention, she turned around and responded with a smile. - can i help you? she said, the first words from my true love, something i shall always cherish. - yes um.. I noticed you walking out the staffroom and recognized you as my newest neighbour. She gave me another smile and said "oh yes, Mr... Wilson? i responded with a muffled "Yes..", she presented her hand and i did the same. Then what i had wished not to happen happened, an awkward silence, my heart started beating faster as if it was panicing, i tried to save the situation by asking her "So.. You like reading to?", she said " oh yes, i love reading, i strongly prefer it over tv or radio..". I couldnt think of anything else to say, i thought she was going to walk away and say "i have to get back to work", but she didnt. She switched to a strange look as if she was inspecting me, she said "How about we get to know eachother better? When i get off we can go for a cup of coffee?", when i heard it i thought i was about to dance out of the joy and relief. -Thats sounds great! i said. Then, at that moment, i felt something, it felt like being underwater for an eternity the finally being pulled up, i could feel the satisfaction overwhelming any depression that i ever had, i was happy.

Well thats all that i've gotten together, just tell me what you think :)
By the way, this got kind of short and ended suddenly, i might make an alternative continuem, if i have the time

very good. your english is too good man! :D

Thanks, yeah i get a lot of compliments in school for that

Great work, your starting to inspire me to work again on my book now that I've got competition..So be on the look out :skull

Haha, yes competition.. Anyways, good luck with that




i know where you live... JK

:skull

Lol ahhh pedofile stalker!! Just kidding, but good luck to you as well and may the best write win

I should like just come in and DESTROY ALL OF YOU
AHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Jk.
Well yeah..I'm writing a novel or a Short story
Since I MIGHT have the time..


"Are you sure you want to go there?"
Andrew hardly heard the question the farmer had asked him as he stood beside his wagon-load of barley grain on his truck.His eyes looked over the crude truck he’d travel in and then turned to the dazzling metropolis across the wide valley. The sun sparked on Irsati, a city of sheer white walls, shining blue roofs and golden domes. Many spires and steeples and turrets towered above the city, but in a vast variety of shapes and colors. More than a dozen buildings were armed with automatic machine gun turrets to keep out unruly visitors.Seeing the city reminded him about his future, he might get a job as a mechanic, then get a girlfriend and get married. I have a destiny. The thought scared him but also pleased himself too.

That's all I have.

Pretty good, and great... :glare: More competition

We should open an forum for this kind of stuff... You know, writing

Sounds good but what we should do is have our own website for amateur writers like us where we can leave our novels and stories which then readers can come and leave comments. This way it will prevent the forum from being flooded with stories from different people.

If you like the idea, I'll be willing to make the site, I've already have my own :cool: